It may seem a clichè to what we call "bitter" women to feel that they have opposing views on loving someone. Maybe because they have some past experiences that they cannot forget whether in a romantic relationships with their exes or perhaps they have observed something similar inside their homes while they are young. Well, this is just a personal opinion towards a change of paradigm towards love because I do have similar experiences as the other girls of any age bracket out there.
Reasons why we have bitter perspective towards the word L-O-V-E:
1. Disfigured father figure.
Inside their homes, these young girls have their personal experiences towards bitterness because of what they have observed inside their homes such as irresponsibility of their fathers and so on or even the worse stories the world has ever got, husbands both verbally and/or physically abusing wives, etc. which really affects the way these little lass grows especially in terms of mental and psychological traumas that they will be bringing in the future. However, these are just some of the thousands stories kept by others as well. I'm just pointing out what is really common and based from what I observe personally in the house.
2. Imperfect couple observations from friends (especially the close ones)
Girls are naturally open to their girlfriends and usually talk about something about their personal lives especially their romantic experiences with their boyfriends. But as well all know, not all relationships have nice endings or shall I say have the ability to cope with the imperfections of the world that both persons really fight for the betterment of their relationships. However, not all have this kind of spirit as the other stronger couples out there. Girls having this kind of imperfect journey with their romantic lives tend to be emotional when they share these things to their girlfriends. And those who haven't tried to any relationships will really have the tendency to gain crooked perspectives to love since girls will really think that all relationships will end up just like that. So, they start to hate romance and even men, in general.
3. Serious relationship break-ups (or even mutual understandings)
Until now, I could still clearly remember how my admiration and infatuation really broke me (since I don't have previous experiences myself in romantic relationships at all). Actually, based from teenhood, any typical girl can experience how sweet their puppy loves are and even mistake them as love. So, when this particular oxytocin hormonal-rise-event fails, young girls will have broken hearts then, just like the ones with serious break-ups, they will move on but still bringing that kind of emotion that broke them (although it was just puppy love). On the other hand, those with serious relationship break-ups, will really have that kind of trauma and really have the tendency to avoid falling in love and will do even revenge to men in general. Stereotypical may it seems, but girls really take her avenge to whatever bitterness she felt to the failure of their romantic relationships. Some will take years to forget what they have experience and even think those good experiences but less compared to what bad things her guy did to her that lead to the break-ups. Without considering to what really happened, girls will be girls and will have their own biases.
4. Being harassed, raped, etc. at childhood or adolescence phase
This will be the worst case to include. Due to the sensitivity of this case, I will be less discussant to this matter. I will just be giving the common view of it. There are a lot of girls who are keeping their past experiences with relation to physical abuse. This is a bit related to the first reason but this is just the concern is not her mother but the girl herself. She may have been harassed by her own father both biological or not or maybe was raped by whom she knew or maybe a complete stranger. With these conditions, she will really have a different perspective apart from what the other normal girls see towards loving. This is really a serious reason why she will hate men or even the entire romance idea. She believes that it exists but never been part of her life or perhaps she doesn't even believe that it will come to her. But, ironically, she will keep on searching for it but if it does come, she'll maybe withdraw to it (that may lead to the surrender of the man to fight for their relationship). Again, this is just the common idea of how girls being harassed, raped, etc. sees romance as a concept. You can search this entire psychological matters towards women online because that will be another complete story.
There are a lot of uncovered stories out there that perhaps, not personally observed. But, among those, these are what I personally experience although there are some that I don't (I am referring to the past relationships since I haven't had a break-up with anyone and I don't plan to have one). Nevertheless, I am happy that I observed myself change with views towards love and romance. How? I fell in love. The real man. Telling it, will be another story. (Just wait for the next blogs :P)
Credits to the photos used in this blog. I don't personally own the photos and deem acknowledge the owners for this blog.
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