In as much as I would hate my father for being strict and fickle, he is my father and I love him. This was my perspective towards his image before I got to know him more.
I asked my mother about him. Courageously, I asked her about his behavior without our presence, without the presence of everyone. Just him and my mother. After a lengthy conversation, she arrive to the following summary of how she loves my father that is worth of her love (no matter how stubborn he is).
1. He is a man of promise.
"Word of honor" as everyone notes it. For him, when he says something either a promise of time, thing, anything which he has given to anyone, he must make sure that he will make it possible. For example, when he informs my mother that "Ma, I will be here by 5PM." As expected, he is already there. Another instance, where he told us that we are stupid for not doing our promises to anyone like to our peers, cousins, etc. Even single promise like wanting to send money at this hour, at this day, which he told the person he owed to, he definitely makes it on time. For me, this is the trait I admired the most which I hope will be practiced with my future life. I, myself, is a person of promise. When I say, "See you later", no matter how busy I am, I really make sure that I will see that person since I gave my promise of seeing later. I got this from my father.
2. He loves dramatically his family.
Even before they married with my mother, she has already observed that he is a bit exaggerated when it comes to love and emotions. I could say, he is really emotional type of man, trying to hide in his hard and stiff exterior. I didn't get this when I was younger, since all I just see is the exterior. I never get the chance to see and to know his depth soul. Just this time, that I realized that he also cries a lot when he even misses anyone of us, or with a simple fight or argument with anyone in the family. And no matter, how grievous our sins are, with a simple "Sorry, Pa." He cries and forgives. Personally, I admit, I love dramatically and I tend to share my overflowing emotions towards loving anyone. So, that's why I am really careful in choosing whom to love, because I am scared that anyone will hurt me again or even take me for granted.
3. He considers presence as the most valuable gift to his loved ones.
He may not be able to see us in some matter of days or even months (for my German exams), but still, when we need him, he is always there. He doesn't allow his self to make anyone feel his absence. For him, presence is the best gift you can give to anyone and even the most valuable thing he can give to prove that his family is not taken for granted [no matter how busy he is nor how tired he is from work]. He makes sure that he has time for us.
4. He is over-protective.
Yeah, this is natural to any father out there especially if their children is a girl. According to my mother, he is really protective to our welfare since he is really aiming that what his life before when he was in his youth. When he was young, he was not able to experience how a responsible father should act, behave, etc. So, he is really trying his best to give out his best for the best for his family. I really admire this trait since I am aware that working hard for somebody is not as easy as it sounds. It's easier to work for own interest than working hard to support anyone especially his family.
5. He is faithful.
Both as a husband and as a father, he is the man of faithfulness. No matter how my mother's stubbornness irritates him, he still clings onto her. Through the ups and downs of the family, his endurance and unending love portrays a strong indicator of his faithfulness. Unlike any man out there, although considered their selves committed, but still, the "hormones" are unstoppable and still searching for another business to attend [if you know what I mean]. I really admire men who are exercising their faithfulness to the woman they committed and to the children he has swore.
6. He is organized.
Both as a young man, or even as a father, organizational skills are a bit required. This is not just about being able to buy shelves and segregate papers from useful to scrap. But, it's also about how a man thinks and chooses to whatever steps or moves he has to make, facing varied consequences at the end. Regardless of that, for a man, especially for those who are already have a family, organizational skill is such a requirement to learn.
Why? The simple reason is that, how could the household be systematically functional if the man is not able to organize even his thoughts, his papers, his demeanor, his entire being as a man. How could a woman look up to him as a leader of the relationship or of the family if he is not even able to make smart and clever decisions? According to Bible, men are assigned by God for such leadership to both family and society. So, as a man, it's natural for women like me to look up to my man's decision although I have my own. For me, although we are both smart [me and my husband], I may have suggestions, but it's the man's word is considered the last word. It's applicable to the household as such, the man should be able to stand firm and quick with his decisions because he is programmed to lead his family or future family. As to my father, he is fickle-minded. He changes mindset. My mother, to balance the harmony of the house and maintain peace and order, she suggests. As daughters, also, helps him decide. But, it's still in himself, the last decision, which we're going to follow.
Authors' Notes:
With these things I have observed from my father, I grew up thinking that the men are like him and do things as he does. With these things, I observed from my current boyfriend, who is also a father, he also acts the same like my father. But,well, of course, there are differences. But, in general, they act similar. So cool.
On the other hand, I just look up to whatever my husband decides especially towards household system. I may have my own decisions, but as married couples [which will be my pathway--clearly, where I am going], everything lies down to communication. Whether the husband's or the wife's decision will be followed or any of the two varied decisions will be compromised. But, as naturally formed and structured, the stronger decision lies in the hands of the man, husband, boyfriend. But that doesn't mean that he can control, manipulate, or dictate the freedom of speech and/or freedom to express opinions, of the other.
Again, to conclude, a man has to be responsible to everything he acts. He should act like a man, not as an immature idiot especially when the man is involved to any relationships or fatherhood. Why? It is because, once he acts like an asshole, a lot of people will be affected by it. And it's not a good act.
However, the statements are just my opinion and are merely based from what I have observed and what goes on in the household. Thus, it may not or may be true to others.
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