Baby girl.
Girl.
Teenager.
First love.
First heartbreak.
Second love (:
Marriage.
Wife.
Pregnancy.
Motherhood.
Mama.
A life of a young lady changes dramatically once she gets the step of marriage. This is what they said. They even told me to get a lot of experiences as a youth or as a committed single lady before settling down. Yeah, I haven't traveled that much. But I already did a lot in my youthful days that not all ladies aren't able to do so. For me, these experiences are enough to prepare myself for the married life awaiting me there ahead.
These past few nights, I dreamed of something weird like being pregnant and being caught in a tsunami in a clear blue sea, as well as entering a house full of hanging white cloth. I researched what these things meant. They are interconnecting to my inner set of feelings which I usually suppress and don't express to anyone. These dreams are telling me that I am setting myself to the tremendous changes that will happen to me in the near future. My feelings are suppressed because I am still somehow fearful of what will be the outcome. But, it generally tells me that I am ready.
I don't know what precautions I should do to really tell myself that I am already set for the new battle that I will be in. I can't even tell myself that I have achieved the ultimate preparation of the changes that will be encountered as I go along in this journey of my life. I can't even tell myself that I know what outcomes that will pop out since I am not God to know them. What I just have here in my hands now is my faith.
God has given me sets of skills and talents which I don't understand why I have this versatility. Later then, I realized that these are meant for the battles, the risks that I will be dealing with an unknown risky life in the future. I don't know my future and how will I look like. But for sure, I am married to the man I am sure of. I am sure of. For sure, he will be the one who will be at the back apart from my family who have been there when I was still a baby. But then, in this new journey, my family is giving their supposed responsibility to the new person, whom they entrusted their daughter with. He is the man whom my family trusted to be at my back as I go to the risky battles of life. At my young age, I seek exploration of the world and learn how wonderful it is. At this stage of life, I also expect him to be supportive of this endeavor. This is not a selfish act. But, the new-model of mutualism. I support him to his every decision towards life and its changes; he, too, supports me to my endeavors. We both know what we wanted. We are clear to that.
The main point of this article is just mere expression of what I feel towards the biggest change that will happen to me in the nearest date. With this, I felt mixed fear and excitement to this new world that I will be facing. Hence, I wish to have the biggest support from the people around me because for sure, I can't handle this myself, especially my lifetime partner.
In advance, I wish to thank him and also my family who have been so patient and understanding to me. I am one of their challenging dealings so far in their lives. Thank you so much for being with me. You are truly a blessing from me. I love you all! I love you, Schatz. :)
Author's Notes:
I am just expressing things from my heart. I'm a bit fearful of what things may come along because it's my first time to be far away from my family. And the date is getting nearer. May God be with me as I face new chapter there, in a new, strange place. So far, this is the biggest challenge that I will be taking. I know there are bigger to come. So help me God.
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