Friday, July 24, 2015

My Black Hole

I really am fearful to share things to people around me, especially that I, myself, don't even understand these things that make me anxious all time. I feel so sad today though I don't know the exact reason why. My life sucked, I guess.

As human as I am, I try to figure out the possible solutions that I may get from the surroundings based from what I see and what I perceive. I may be able to give a solution or a specific answer to every logical form of questioning, but this time, things seem to have gradually changed. 

I don't know if it's pride that swallowed me or what. But since this kind of drama is not allowed in the house, I can't freely express it in front of my loved ones. So, I decided to keep these things inside myself. If I may burst it out unexpectedly, I rather jot them down here in my personal blog. In case, what happens to me, there is an anecdote available for them to read upon. 

Sadness conquers me as I go along each day. A kind of sadness which no doctors nor any scientist could ever heal. And because I don't want the people around me to feel that I am really that sad, I wear my favorite mask to give them an unconditional smile, as if I am really okay. Nothing is going on. 

If they have been that observant, they would notice changes I guess. For example, my sister is now trying to convince me to eat, because I have gradually lost my appetite. And I like the complete silence as I feel the soft tears falling from my two eyes. 

I don't want to sound dramatic to everyone, so I am here writing and silently crying in depths of despair which I really don't understand. I am so sad not because I feel embarrassed to the fact that I am not what the person everyone expected me to have become. 

Well, maybe a part of it devours me and my pride but that does not complete the entirety of the whole sadness that I really truly feel. My boyfriend always remind me to be confident. But I somehow lost it. I do even forget the feeling of true positivism that I had once thought all the time. Every thing's in place except now. 

I really feel I'm a total worthless person. Nothing special. I am like a stone where everyone just either being thrown away or treated as nothing. I am nothing. I wanted to fight this kind of feeling all time, but it seems that there is a black hole, where the entire energy sucked the entire mass of my positive feeling which has affected me in this moment. 

I really don't know what changed people that I truly loved. Am I getting boring? Worthless? It seems like. I don't excite them anymore. I am not that interesting anymore. I am useless. I don't earn that much as everyone does. I don't have that power that once I have had. I don't have that name that gained so much attention. I don't have that "snap" to catch the attention of everyone. I am getting worthless and boring, might as well an uninteresting woman. 

It's okay I guess. I have to accept. I keep these things all alone as I have been trained for. Keep all the dramas with me and let them devour me all throughout. It's up to the people around to figure out. I'm taking the foot steps towards my dungeon, and in that same place I dwell and keep my silent tears, no one could ever hear. 

No dramas outside. Keep them all inside and confidently say "hi" to everyone I meet with my big smile as if nothing is really going on inside me. I will keep that sadness with me, and bury it with me until death. This is my black hole. 

Thursday, July 23, 2015

6 Reasons Why I Don't Know What Family Means

Family. Big word. However, it is the basic unit of society. Without it, there would be no community, no society, no nation, no country. Nothing.

What I know about having a family is that these persons belong to this particular circle are the same persons whom you can rely on. You can share everything to these persons whether your bad day or the happiest moment of your life. Everything. You can laugh together with them, or at least can give you comfort especially when one undergoes their respective blues.

Yes, I have a quite nice, small family. I am the eldest. My sister is 17 years old. We should be much closer if you think about it since we are just four in the house. But, unfortunately, we don't.

My parents, yes, they make the rules. They are the masters of the house because they know the absolute truth since they have been to the situations where we are just about to begin undertaking. But what I really don't understand is that why my own parents don't make us feel home.

As I am writing this post right now, tears begin to fall from my eyes. I have to make several pauses as I go along every sentence here to paragraphs. Trying to calm myself.

It may sound odd but I feel jealous to how other family does go along with each other. Children treat their parents as their primary barkadas, considering the parenting sector. That's normal. They should maintain their state as parents to mold us to become better persons. But not necessarily the "total boss" of your life.

1. We never felt comfortable when they are in the house. 

Why? Imagine, we are not allowed to show any form of emotions and any form of disobedience. Or else, you will be scolded like hell. The result? Masochism. We managed to hide this part from them since they don't care anyway - at all. We don't have any outlet to our emotions especially to the daily events at school and to elsewhere we do surround ourselves with.

2. We treat them as our "managers" or "bosses."

When they arrive in the house after work, me and my sister tend to be anxious to how the entire things that exist in the house. Because we do fear that they will scold us from their daily house inspection. From the food they eat to whatever, they are all examined. Yes, I do understand that this is part of discipline. But I really don't like the way we are told. We are like slaves without feelings at all. No power to reason out. If we do, we will be fired out from our so-called "workplace."

3. We don't have to show our "true" self.

They don't like any form of dramas. From my first heart break to failures in exams, etc., they are not supposedly shown to them or else instead of being comforted by our own parents, they scold us, judge us. Instead of listening to what caused our depression, sadness, they tend to say "Why did you do that? Why aren't you able to manage to pass? Are you stupid?" If you hear these words from your own parents amid the blues you are now, do you think you still like to open up with them? I don't think so.

4. We don't express how we really feel about the situation. [We should pretend we are okay.]

Quite interesting that happened today is that I tried to open up what I do feel about the situation we are now to my mother. My boyfriend asked me to ask her to know what they are thinking about. So I did. I tried [with all my courage and strength to do such act.] But I already know how she would respond. And yes, she did. This is also the main reason why I don't open up stuff like this as it would make me sound stupid in their eyes.

If I express what I really do feel, they can really tell me I am that damn stupid to be a dramatic queen.

With our conversation we have today with my mother, she told me even that she is wondering why I am not talking to them anymore.

Observe these conversations.

**Via SMS
"Ma [Filipino way of calling their mother], do you feel proud of us?"
"Yes, we do. We love you."
"Although we do mistakes?"
"What mistakes? Don't tell us that. Stop that."
"Mistakes like I don't have work, I can't manage to help you with the house hold payments, etc. Unable to pay this bill."
"Nah, we will be disconnected from the internet. Why can't I connect to the home phone?"
"There is a dial tone. You can call."

**Via Phone Call, continuation after text messaging. 
"Hallo."
"Why made you say that? Are you in drama again?"
"Yes, I am."
"You should not do that. It's nonsense."
"Why? Am I not allowed to do so? [Why can't I express my emotions here?]"
"See, what happens if you don't read the Bible, go to church. You're thinking stupid now."
"Anyway, just help me pay the bill if we aren't able to make it on time."
"I don't want to have conversations like this. It disturbs my work."
"Okay, fine. Bye."

She jumped out to conclusions without really examining what is really going on inside me. The same thing with my sister when she had back pains. Instead of helping her ease the pain, she scolded her like a "pain in the ass" without bothering at all. She concluded that my sister had that severe back pain because she is too fat. Well, she is bigger than me. But not necessarily the main reason why she still has that same pain until now.

If I would tell her I do feel dizzy like hell, palpitating chest with matching pressure all time, I guess I would end up the same. So, in my case, I kept these secret with her. From the smallest pain to an increasing rate of severity of pain, I am not telling everyone. I have to manage it myself. Anyway, they wouldn't care.

5. We should be nearly "perfect."

For 23 years of existence, I have been trained to be perfect of everything. From every mannerism, the way I smile, the way I should stand, sit, wear my clothes, etc. EVERYTHING. There is no space for mistakes. If there are, always prepare for consequence.

6. We should think of 70% happiness because tomorrow sadness comes. 

This might sound stupid but yes. We are not allowed to laugh in the house. We can but in a minimal manner. We can't say things that loud as it would annoy them. We can't do things we want to do normally in our everyday routines, because it would distract them. And so on. Everything has rules. RULES. RULES. I am getting sick of them.

In general, every house rule is this. As kids, when you are still living under the roof of your parents, you should follow their rules all time. But in this situation, what should I do?

After living this kind of roof for more than 20 years now, I have countless times thinking about suicide. Several masochistic acts to seek inner pleasure. Others would label it as an "exaggerated drama series."  The most recent is when I tried to do painful and hard rubbing of a dead pen.

I don't know how exactly a family means. Is it about the quantity of things you are able to provide to them or the quantity of emotional intelligence (EQ) you can give? I guess there should be balance.

I am grateful to have them as my parents in terms of being able to be the great providers. But, not really as persons whom I can rely on in terms of emotional need. Without my boyfriend and my sister as my support, to whom should I seek to? No one else except my God.

Friday, July 17, 2015

"Calm After The Storm"

No matter how much I think that I am the most unfortunate person in the world just because I don't have everything my heart desires, yet, there are things that fill them onto these gaps that marked my whole individuality.

There are inevitable circumstances wherein the turn of events are unexpected. There are also times that you can predict them afterwards. However, almost majority of what I have experienced are otherwise.

It won't matter, I know, how much I see the world as ruthless as it could be, but these same things that revolved around me for some time now have been one of the most important things I possess. They may sound negative in everyone's eyes, but they are quite a strength for me.

I even seemed to have dual personality in this matter as I have perceived life in two different dimensions that affected that way I behave, too. On this side, I am the strong-willed woman, too independent whom everyone could really depend on. But that won't be the same for the opposite side. There is a portion of me that I can't easily leave behind. Or maybe, I can swallow the fact that I find it really hard to lose them.

In every storm, there is a sunny day thereafter. But the moment the storm comes, everything's too dark and cold. One may see it as a weakness and troublesome. But for me, in my case right now, instead of making it as one big weakness, why not use it as a strength to shield myself to this wild, wild world. Anyway, there would be sunny day coming in just a short span of time.

When somebody asks me to stop thinking over these things over and over again, I usually say, "I don't know" especially when they are asking me why I do so. Hurting myself, somewhat practicing masochism to seek pleasure and comfort. Just like what I did last night.

If I try to see the marks in my hand where I used a dead pen to strike my wrist, I just see the red spot. No wound, but deffo I feel discomfort [a bit]. I really don't understand myself why I do these stuff over and over again. I even ask Google about it and seek help through some itty-bitty information available in the world wide web.

Depression. Dysthemia. Chronic depression. Major depression. A lot of words are stated. But still confused what exactly this feeling is after some time, some years. I am not even sure when it all started.

A strong woman like with an independent sense and thinking to the world filled with deep mysteries and journeys, I am now trapped to this kind of situation where I needed support, love, comfort, care, to the extreme level from everyone.

If I would have been in the same situation around two years ago, maybe I have done my most stupid move. Suicide.

But because I have all the great people and my God with me giving me all their protection, love, and care, I wasn't and I cannot do it. I cannot take the path of taking my own life just because life has been that harsh to me since then. I will just take the fact in a different angle. Again, a source of inspiration and strength to where I am heading to.

These terrible experiences I am right now molded me to become one of the most inspiring persons amongst. Whenever I meet a friend, when they see me again, they immediately could remember how I inspired them in the last few years of being with me. They keep on thanking me for such great words I said to them. Right now, they are even beyond my level. They are now on the top spot. Earning higher than me. Living the dreams they ever desired.

Though they may seem to forget me now, but thinking how much  I have helped them and to where they are placed now, I will just be happy and contented to what I have contributed to their own lives.

Because of these little things, it would be stupid to take my esteem to decline just because of these people I have helped before. I made them. Now, should I be angry? Foolish.

In this moment, I am thinking about how I can dwell to my future with my future family with my future husband, whom I really love and adore. I am so proud of him. Why? There are tons of reasons. But the first thing is really sure, he is so, so, so, so patient with me in this. I can never look for somebody who could such like he does to me. He is one of the reasons why I keep on driving myself to be a strong woman with utmost positivism possessed.

With my own flaws and glitches, I accept myself as I am. Though it will take me more time to erase all of these bad feelings inside. God's time will tell and in His way. I am looking forward to it. May God bless me and the people around me especially my loved ones to keep us strong and alive with love, comfort, care, trust, encouragement, and above all faith.

Ad majorem dei Gloriam.



**I used the title "Calm After The Storm" by The Common Linnets. You can search the whole song through this links below

Song Text of "Calm After the Storm"
Official Video of the "Calm After The Storm"


Mecyll's Note #2

This is really funny. To think that I am making my blog like a diary entry. Seems like.
Well, anyway. This is my second note. From the first one, I talked about a bit of a sneak preview from the entire stuff I wish to write about.

**From here, I don't know what to write about. Pause.

Suffering. Let me talk about this. Forgetting this word sounded like I will get to seek a psychiatric help afterwards. I am asking myself several times, why do I have to suffer like this deeply. Living that kind of shitty life of a fairy tale built by the elder ones you look up to since birth. However, when the reality speaks of itself, I really cannot believe that what they have told me are all shit.

I may sound like a childish, immature woman right now, but experiencing this one several times makes me feel sick. All my life I believe that when I just have to do my best to claim my top spot will pave the way to my success in life. For my future. But it doesn't sound the same with my reality.

I am hurt. In different unique ways. Several times. Many times. A thousand times. I have no idea when it would end unless I kill myself. But I guess I don't have the right to give in as I don't have the power to take away my life unless God intends me to. However, slowly, if this continues, it might be true.

I already did attempted several times in years. In three different times and situations. Somehow, the half of me is saying that "Hey, you should not take your life. It's God's right. Only Him can take it in His own time and way." Yet, the other speaks a bit loud of doing it again.

I am so hurt where no one cares and understands. Because I fear to be judged, I chose to keep my stance in silence and keep these things within myself. I spoke up with several close ones, but neither of them yet to understand how I really do feel and think as of this moment.

I saw several coffins today, making me think about death. A lot of people standing around in grief. I wonder when these dead people were alive, were they around to listen to them? Maybe, otherwise. People live life in most regrets than gratitude anyway.

They will only feel the total regret if that someone dies. If that will be me, would everyone come to my coffin and cry? When I was alive, would they do? Did they even care to what I feel?

I guess I don't even have the right to have fun and express myself in my deepest thoughts. Unleashing them will be a hassle for everyone. I am naturally a jealous girl. Let's take that an example. Let's say, I will let them see that, I know for sure, they will prevent it by saying it stupid. So, before saying so, I often say, "disregard..."

I feel neglected. Worthless. Wearing my mask all time. So no one would see how extremely sad I am right now. But, is there anyone who would listen? No one. I always live to beg and swallow my pride. And even forget that I am still alive by killing myself step by step is the best way to keep everyone happy.

I envy those people with people who could really understand them and who will be really with them in times of need. Having someone you can really depend on. But in my case, I am usually independent. No one is actually there. I am used to it.

Well, anyway, I am trained to keep things under my control. So, keeping everything to myself is the best idea I could do. Right now, I am still keeping this extreme sadness.

Everything's mixed up. Everyone is getting their MAs, ranks, promotions. I am here waiting for not granted promises. Unemployed. Earning low. No savings.

What else could I think about? Others may think I am selfish to think about these things, but I guess I should just accept that the words "fun" and "enjoy" are not for me.

I did what I could possibly do to make other people happy. Sacrificed my wants and desires for life for what they seemed to prefer me to do. But neither I feel they did something back for me. Unfair, isn't it? Well, that's my life.

Mecyll's Note #1

I don't know where to start everything. I even don't know why I am writing right now after months of not doing so. Maybe, I just wanted to talk with someone but everyone's seems so busy with their own stuff. I don't want to intend to disrupt any of their of pre-planned activities for the entire day.

I just wanted to write to express everything -- I guess not yet, as of now, as my emotions are getting in its peak. Rushing and gushing through my system, which sometimes I cannot even fathom. Everyone's not noticing them, well, of course, they're just inside my system, so they will really won't notice unless they are not totally observant.

It has been weeks since I have this kind of depressing feeling. I don't even know why, to what probable cause this provoked. I guess it all started years ago, when I did attempted to cut my wrist and wished to die at any single moment back then.

During those times, I was in total procrastination. My self-proclaimed topnotch rank made everyone think that I am that willed, strong woman. However, deep inside I am a weakling, ugly duckling. So weak. Behind those prowess that everyone knows, is a baby crying so loud. Powerless.

My life seemed to be in riddles, which sometimes piss me off. Since most of the time, as intellectual as I am, I can't figure out what makes every thing work -- especially those things that revolve around me. From every single speck of doing, I don't even know why I am doing those things.

My entire life sounded like a total ridicule. Stupid. Fated to be in total chaos. It really sounded like that. If I tell everyone my real situation, no one would listen. Instead, they will even tell me that "Come on, it's already years back! Just forget them."

Yes, it sounded simple. But no one really understands how I really do feel about it. Yeah, it is really as simple as like that. I could just forget things unnecessary. But you know, when it remains unsolved, it will always come back over and over again.

Until now, I still do feel it. I feel like I am in total darkness where no one listens. There would be one, I don't know if they really do. All this time, I feel I am in the room alone. Alone in this dark room where no one cares.

Actually, I don't understand myself. Sometimes, I just think that maybe this is out of my extreme moodiness or whatever. However, at most times, I am depressed.

I just cry all over. Repeatedly especially when I am in the comfort room. As the name says, "comfort." Hoping that by stepping to it, I will feel comfort. But actually not. It's just the same shit and lame.

I don't know how to express things except crying, crying, crying. Hoping somebody would understand how I really do feel right now. For weeks.

I don't want to seek death at the end. Maybe it is not the answer to these. Hope someone would help me ease all these.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

After University Life: Nostalgia After Two Years, What Have I Learned?

After two years since I graduated in college, I got my yearbook, my graduation photos, and all those stuff included in the almost 4k package (requirement to graduate actually). I got my yearbook first months ago, and yesterday, my photos in pack that came with a mug and a sort of flag or whatever in cardboard. Well, I am not talking much about these things. My experiences were then seemed like a nostalgia for me.

I went to the university [campus] once again for several times since months. But, every time I go in from the security, and take my footsteps in the hallway, I always remember several things that happened in this university after a long time. All the memories were recalled. Everything. From the bad to good student life were re-experienced once again.

Whenever I hear the laughter in groups, I remember how my life was as a student. Behind these laughter were big struggles earning higher grades from Nazi professors. This is really true especially to those scholars alike. I was a scholar. So, I really know how it feels like to do much sacrifices in order to impress every class instructor to get good grades [to maintain the scholarship].

Love. Another thing to remember. A cool thing about it is whenever I experience downs before, I always go to the chapel. And there in the pews, I silently cry. This is the only place where I could really express myself freely away from the people. Seriously, I don't want other people to see me crying. Because for me, crying is a symbol of weakness. Well, that was before, when I used to wear the best mask of pretense.

I closed my eyes in the pews once again after two years. Amid silence, I could still clearly remember what I prayed in front of the cross. "Lord, why do I have to experience this kind of pain? Would there be a man who would treat me like a queen or at least, a woman? Would there be a big possibility a man would love me and accept for who I am and willing to accept my flaws and downfalls? Would there be a man to exist who would really love me deeper than the Pacific?"

During that time, I just hear silence. I cried once again as I recall it. Because although I am in the same pew where I sat two years ago, there I was again, in teary-eyes, I said my prayer, "Lord, thank you for giving me such a man who would do everything for me. A man who would really love me for who I am and a man who would respect me and accept my whole love for him. A man who would really love me back and will never let me fall down and left behind. He may be stupid, I would be more stupid to let him go."

It sounds romantic. Yes, it is. Lesson learned here. Wait.
I have to wait for to years to know him. I felt my terrible heartache in 2012, and fell in love again in two years time. 2014 for me is the best year.

I learned to love. Above all, I learned to trust again and to commit. I played men before. Now, my views have changed.

Wait. Right now, I am waiting again. When would I able to meet him in person?
When would I be with him and stay with him? When would I be able to help him in his plans for us? When?

I will wait. Best things come in God's timing.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

How To Explore More For Your Self-Discovery: Ways to Make it Possible

Self-discovery comes along in a very unexpected manner. Nothing about life has been more interesting except when something unplanned just happens to you. This same thing also becomes a channel to the pathway where you did not expect that it will go along like that.

This seems weird for you if you try to think about it. But then again, life is filled with several possibilities and opportunities that no one expects they are going to occur at least once in your life. You ever wanted to be this, but that other one happens. It may have resulted to a heavy drama of yours but surely if you just try to embrace these changes, it will surely come out so fruitful and joyful all throughout the years.

Personally, I have never expected that being an artist will become something that I will become passionate about. However, I have already loved sketching anything in my piece of paper. Since I was a young girl, I really love to draw and draw and draw. Everyone in the family knows that. But because of the heavy demands of academic achievement in the family, I chose to forget that passion and drove myself to something else. Because this is what I should do and not wasting my time for something I cannot benefit from it.

That was my kind of thinking since years then. That continued until I graduated in college. Albeit the fact that I have not received flying colors when I finished my studies at 20 years old, still I did make a lot of achievements for the last 16 years of focused study. Yes, I did what the society wanted me to do and achieve. Absolutely, I felt really good. Then, the usual, as a fresh graduate, I needed to have a job. So, I applied to a lot of jobs both online and office. I gathered around 50 resumes, but still no work.

Depressing times of my life came, until I landed to a small school and taught there for a year. There, my field of expertise, the talking, the teaching, the drawing, and all those stuffs that I am required to do were all set and challenged. But then, though I have already thought about achieving all of these things after 23 years of my life, as I looked backwards, there still something lacking.

Yes, I did forgot my passion. Arts.

Currently, I am working as an online Game content writer in one of big websites, part-time. So, I have enough time to do stuffs that I needed to do and earn at home while doing the artistic stuff that I ever love to do.

Through the help of my family and my ever-supportive boyfriend, I was able to re-define myself more and more each day. Amid the doubts that covered my whole self about my capacity of doing it, I have never thought that being in love with my passion is something that I could also earn, too.

Just some months ago, I started to try making journals the first time. It was hard. I watched tons of tutorial videos via YouTube and learned itty-bitty of their methods of making them every day. While doing so, it required so much patience from me. And because it was my first time, I still did not know the measurements and whatever needed for such estimation needed for each of the journals I made. But still, they looked good.

I tried selling them piece by piece. I was still doubtful if I could really able to sell them. Yet, with the help of my sister, I was able to make several pieces of journals every day and sold them to her friends and classmates at school. All of their feedback are more of "Nice, cute, make more." These words really sparked me much more. Even my family loved them much, although they doubted my ability to be the next Hallmark and Sterling in the future for me. My boyfriend, who was also an artist himself loved what I make [not because he loves me, but objectively assessed].

Because of these remarks, I continue to make more and more and more journals. Later on, I created them label to acknowledge my work. "La Simero." This is the sample business name that my sister used for her projects. Then I used it for my journals and online selling.

Slowly, I am able to sell them. The kind of determination and persistence were reaped and all the efforts I did to every speck of the details of these journals are made with love and passion. This is something that I really loved to do.

As the day passes by, I already think about exploring more about my artistic capacities and think about of that particular thing that I forgot during the last years. Arts. And I will go back to it again. This is my road to a new self-discovery.

For those who are interested to have a look for my journals made, you can see me though the following

Facebook: La Simero journals
Twitter: @Lasimero
Tumblr: LaSimeroHandmade

Contact me through:
Blog: This blog. Leave a comment or message
Email: lasimerohandmade@gmail.com

To have a look of the first set of videos that I have watched for my journal making, you can search Sea Lemon's official YouTube page through these links below:

How To Make A Sketchbook: Coptic Stitch
How To Bind Single Sheets: Bookbinding Tutorial
Perfect Binding Tutorial

Have fun to an artistic self-discovery, folks!

Friday, April 3, 2015

How to Overcome Competitive Nature: 5 Easy-to-Remember Steps Unveiled

Amid this much competitive world, everyone is required to cope with their every day routines, stresses, requirements, and so on which the usual corporate demands. As an outcome, the most noticed is by having the attitude of competition is now a norm. As being competitive is now being taught to young kids.

I was a kid, ten years ago. I graduated in grade school with flying colors. How? Because my mom forced me to. Personally, I don't know much why I should do, but in order to please them, I should do what they wish me to do.

So, I did. I competed, I forced myself to gauge my entire childhood to my studies. Proof? Limited time to play with my friends, to stay and to talk with them, sharing funny thoughts and even to enjoy the laughing part with them.

My mom always told me, "These friends of yours will not be with you when you go down. So, don't waste your time being with them."

I can't forget that.

Why could I? If I can clearly recall how I exactly felt when my friends are enjoying their games, laughing out loud out of total joy, while I was kept in "dungeon" locked inside the house. All I could do is to see them happy through my locked doors and closed windows.

I cried. Yes, out of pain. An excruciating pain I couldn't even forget until now.

Afterwards, with all these sacrifices, I did graduate with honors, medals, and stood up in front of my classmates, friends, parents, school administrators, as well as my teachers while giving my first speech during my graduation day. It was memorable. At least.

I thought it would stop. But as far as I could remember, my mom told me, "You should be the valedictorian in grade school," which I sadly didn't make it happen. I even hesitated to tell her that I really can't make it since my classmates were really that good.

So, I tried to make it possible during my high school. I did my best. All perfect scores. Earned lots of medals, certificates of honors, fame, power, and above all my name was totally established in the school.

I did the same thing as I did in grade school. But this time, I was the class valedictorian. Finally, I was able to make it. But, I asked myself this time -- once again -- Why?

When I got to college and graduated with no Latin honors as I expected. With just 0.18 lack from my general average, I wasn't able to reach the required from the university, I felt totally sad.

Being an achiever, to have nothing at this very moment, is something terrible, and what's worse, I felt I like to jump in a 10-storey building.

What is really sad about how I feel, which is until now, I still do feel it, is I can't get rid of my competitive nature. This has been sickening me, too, for a while.

In everything I do, to anyone I work with, to someone I relate to, to everyone, I feel all time the same competition installed in my system. In order to cope with this negative feeling, I tried to figure out how could I overcome this innate nature.

As I searched, I figured out that I need to do these 5 easy-to-remember steps in my everyday routine - which I could share to every reader:

1. Make it a drive to motivate yourself.
Since this is already innate, you can't stop it. But when you say you wanted to stop it, it doesn't mean that you can't control it. You can! It's just a matter of choice to stay motivated through your competitive nature or not.

2. Make other people your inspiration, not a tool for comparison.
Everyone's unique. This is an overused adage to describe humanity. Yet, sometimes, it's hard to absorb especially for those who are living life with a rush race. But, instead of making others your destruction, make them your inspiration.

For example, your co-worker has a promotion. Instead of grumbling, and getting depressed why you weren't chosen, try to identify why she has the promotion, and make it a drive to improve or to change strategy to get what she got.

3. Make yourself proud, in a good and gentle way.
How is this possible? By simply re-think your accomplishment done in your lifetime and then asked yourself then, how did I manage to make them? Do others achieve the same as I do? For sure, achievers achieve a lot of stuff in their lifetime.

4. Make some boosts to your hidden confidence, and show them off!
At times, the culprit behind the negative competitive nature is their hidden insecurity. This negative feeling usually resulted to negative competition. As a competitive woman myself, I can confidently say that I needed to boost my confidence to overcome this not-so-good competition [I felt].

5. Make your miserable life worse from negative competition.
Yes, you can dig your own grave yard. This is what other people could say to me. Because of being so negative when it comes to other people's achievements, such as promotions, etc. I usually feel down and stressed. The outcome? My editor noticed my mediocre outputs, etc. Simple as that.

The point here is, in order for a person to cope with his competitive nature is to change the way she thinks before stepping to another level of emotions which would create problems later on. These problems include pessimism, insecurities, negative competition, and etc.

Take these simple notes from a competitive woman like me, and let's see if these are good pieces of advice are good enough.

Feel free to give comments below. I appreciate them a lot! Thanks!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Love Boosters, Tips: 5 things couples take for granted

Love can be the most exciting, thrilling feeling anyone could ever feel. Thus, when a man meets his woman of his life, he wishes to do everything to make her his. On the other side, the woman does the same, too, in her most feminine way.

However, this kind of impression tends to low down especially when the couples are already in a stable relationship, where commitment was already acknowledged by the two. There are things that the couple shouldn't take for granted nor take too little. Or else, the relationship built together with hard work and passion, will just go to waste.

1. Forgetting the importance of appreciation.

Not at all times, the couple needs to appreciate every little thing the partner does. This would be a bit exaggerated. But it doesn't mean that the couple won't say their sincere appreciation to their partner to these little things they do. For example, if he had seen or heard you complaining about your writing job. Without saying anything, he buys a big load of notebooks for you. This needs appreciation, indeed.

2. Forgetting what's hurtful when said.


It doesn't literally mean that when the two different people are officially engaged, they can do things they wanted to their partners. If they did something bad, awful from their mistakes, one can't just do insult nor degrade them because of these petty things.

There may be problems to occur in the future, considered bigger, more serious and so on, but they shouldn't forget that your partner is a human, too, has feelings. They can be hurt from what you said. It's not meant to say that you can't just say something corrective to your partner, but one should keep in mind that when you say something like that, consider what angle you should say, in what manner, that he can accept without really feel disrespected nor degraded.

3. Not taking your partner seriously.


This can be the worst thing in a relationship, a big mistake anyone can do to their partners. In simple terms, why build a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't take you seriously?

4. Enclosing "self" fearing partner to dump them.


It's normal to feel a bit pressure to be yourself especially if you wish to keep the person you really, really like, or perhaps, you love [in a committed relationship]. However, if you can't be yourself, how do you expect your partner treat you?

I have this personal experience with fearing that my partner would leave me if he knows that I think this way and that way. Another instance was, when we had a small talk that ended in a very unexpected way. One was hurt, one felt guilty, which is really not right.

To enable one to establish a long-term relationship, or if one wishes to have it, always remember, the real person to belong with is the person who's able to be with you no matter how "jerk-ish" you are. If you know what I mean.

5. Leaving each other a calm, normal sex.


This may be the optional thing for couple, but in order to enhance status of relationship, one should be creative or both of them should be creative to think of new ways to drive each other in a steamy sex. Having the hottest sex is relative to showing how much you enjoyed, loved to make him/her feel how you love him/her -- in bed.

With these being said, one short tip for couples alike. In order to have a stable, long-term relationship with your partner, the couple should be able to show to his partner how "stability" while loving means through respect, care, and love.

Have a happy relationship! Wish you the best! :)



Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Salutatory Speech Way Back 2005; A Quick Recall To How I Made It In Front in Grade School

My Salutatory Speech
Riverdale Grade School
Delivered March 2005

Honorable guests,
Faculty members and staff of Riverdale Grade School, headed by our beloved principal, Mrs. Maybelle Soriano.
Mr. and Mrs. Sigfried Soriano, the founders of this institution
Our school directress, Mrs. Marjorie Austria
Parents, co-graduates, ladies and gentlemen,
Good afternoon.

Welcome to this memorable occasion on the 3rd graduation rite in this laudable center of learning. Today is one of our momentous events as graduates of this school. This shall be remembered because we successfully passed the first segment of our educational ladder. Yes, gone are the days of homework, exam, and other school activities. But this, my fellow graduates, is just the beginning of reaching our dreams.

It is indeed my pleasure and great privilege to be speaking to you today. At this occasion that marks the successful passage of 28 students inluding me from Riverdale Grade School.

I, therefore, wish to extend my heartfelt congratulations to each and every graduand, equipped with firm determination to succeed in their elementary years. Bonafide graduates, statistically, nearly all of us will be marching not only the perdon seated beside us, but also to remind us that the person is our classmate, a future high school student and a very possibly friend. As a student, it will be difficult and harrowing experience. But it is much more bearable if we go through it with people you're familiar and comfortable with.

Today, it s our turn. So be good to each other and act with honor - because our reputation will be a legacy to this institution. As we leave the portions of our dear alma matter, we have a very fulfilling and enriching years ahead of us. And I wish that all of us will achieve our greatest dream and future glory through the best education that everyone will pursue.

In closing, I offer my heartiest congratulations to all of us, my co-graduates. "Education is not a preparation for life, education is life itself. The future is ours to make the best of. I wish our success and happiness in whatever we do.

Thank you and good afternoon.



Tuesday, January 20, 2015

20 Qualities A Woman Has That Make You Love Her Forever

Once in a lifetime, we may able to meet that woman - a woman whom we consider "The Dream Girl" or perhaps "The One". There may be a lot of funny and unexpected situations may happen to us before we meet them. At times, we often ask ourselves why do all the sh*t happens before we can ever meet that woman we are looking for.

However, if you happen to meet her, it's like you've seen a diamond in the widest sand dunes in the Arabian desert. Probably, you already got that woman - the woman you've been waiting for; that woman whom you'll never imagine to let go.

These types of woman are one of the most crucial and so rare to meet. You're lucky if ever you have the chance to meet her.

1. She's naturally beautiful.

A lot of beautiful girls are out there. You can hang out with them and have some few drinks. You can even meet them in the park or in a grocery store. They are everywhere.

But only a few women who are really beautiful inside out. In the modern times, beauty is measured in make-up, fashion, and other superficial standards.

When we try to define the beauty of the woman you'll probably be with is something that is real. It is something you just can't  see from the outside. It is hidden in her eyes.

2. She's kind and nurturing.

When we label a woman who is really kind and nurturing, is someone with an attitude which can be observed by the way she treats you. As simple as it is!

This kind of woman has that soft and genuine heart that shows perfectly how empathetic she is. She is someone who acts motherly but not really mothering you, just act motherly, but still lady-like.

3. She's smarter than you.

Guys are naturally born competitive. They are naturally born leaders. It's usual to see how guys compete with each other in several ways. But, wait, there's always a woman who can make him shut up and think. Why? She knows much better on things he only knows the least.

However, this does not imply that this character of the woman gives negative impact towards men, instead, it beautifies the relationship and assures the man who has a great woman with him, he knows he can be guided, directed to a right path. Guys sometimes act stupid and reckless towards their decisions.

4. She's high-spirited.

As guys, you don't want to be involved with a boring and monotonous woman in a relationship. Although sometimes, a relationship can be rough and tough, which likely can cause flatness in the end. There are times when there's some creativity in the relationship, it's more likely the one we want to keep.

However, if you're with a woman who can be a variety. She can be boring at times since this is really inevitable, but, she can be also dynamic, lively, cheerful, and adventurous. If you happen to meet this type of woman, keep her.

5. She loves you deeply.

This is one of the most important value and attitude in a relationship. Guys tend to be over-emotional to some small things and act stupid in front of them. Yet, she's still loves you deeply.

As a man, you can really see that in her. That no matter how cocky (but not that much), stupid (not all time) you are, but still she's loving you with all her heart, probably she's the woman you should never let go. Ever!

6. She compromises.

Only a few people can do this. Usually types of women like an office-girl, or really professionals are hard to pin down and make them compromise. They usually prioritize their selves over something related to romance or emotions.

But if your woman can do compromise over some things (especially those big ones), she's the woman you can really be with you for lifetime.

7. She can make you feel home.

When you're really in love, it's one of the most special feeling in the universe. For guys, it's like you are in the world where you are supposed to be. Most of the guys find a home in the woman's eyes, they won't let them go.

8. She can be brutally honest, but in a nice way.

Flattery can make any one's ego fed and satisfied. However, for this kind of woman, she can be so brutally truthful to what she really sees; she won't hesitate to tell you that you're already doing the most stupid thing. They feel better when you're corrected. She loves to be honest.

9. She's strong but still lady-like.

Any man likes to be with a strong woman. Sometimes, they like women who thinks positive amid tough situations. Although these women can feel bad towards the bad situation but still they are able to move forward.

10. She's driven and determined to do what she wants.

Being driven is one of the most attractive attribute any woman should possess. This particular attitude creates much attraction to men. Why?

Basically, guys and girls alike think that without drive in life, everything is boring and seem impossible. But for some guys, they like women who are really determined to reach whatever goals she has or whatever plans they have before, she's really having that attitude of wanting to get them.

11. She encourages you.

Everyone needs encouragement. It's one thing that drives people and makes people to move forward especially for guys. Since men are naturally born competitors, they need someone whose able to feed them with positive energy. Thus, they don't want naggers. Instead, encouragement-givers.

12. She's already secured (emotionally).

Other women tend to have that intention to make their guys to feel jealous just to make them feel secured that their guy really love them. This is actually stupid. But sadly, a lot of childish women do this.

For a woman whose already emotionally-stable, they don't need to do that stupid move just to prove their guy's love for them because they already know it.

13. She isn't an attention-getter.

There are some girls who like a princess - that type of woman who usually demands so much attention from their guy. They seem to act like princesses in the fairy tales. But for this type of woman, they don't need it. They're already secured about their selves.

14. She's independent, but not over-rated.

Guys, just accept that your woman doesn't have all the world revolved around you. She also has her friends, hobbies, etc. So, not all time she's thinking, wondering or daydreaming about you. She's too busy for that.

15. She shows confidence in front of your friends and family.

Guys, be honest. You know that you have had several girlfriends whom you're hesitant or feel embarrassed whenever you bring them with your family or friends, right?

It's usually brings a big slap on our faces whenever our families and friends give their awful comments to our girlfriends.

But, with a real woman, we don't have to worry because they know how to carry their selves with utmost confidence when they're with your closest friends or families.

16. She's not shy towards sex.

Confidently, a real woman - a really real one, is not shy whenever the guy opens about sex. She can confidently articulate how she wants to be f**ked, and so on. Because for her, sex is just natural drive to humans. So, there's no need to be shy talking about it.

17. She can also say "I don't know".

Although you have a real smart woman with you, but there are things that she doesn't know, too. But, she's humble enough to admit it.

This time, when your woman can say that three precious words to you with all confidence, keep her. She's really rare.

18. She can laugh at your jokes and can be extremely funny.

There's a famous adage that says that when your partner can laugh at your stupid jokes and can make you laugh, too, she's a real keeper. That's basically true! Not all couples have that.

There's also a common saying  when someone can make you laugh, that same person makes you fall in love (faster), too!

19. She's loyal.

If she happens to be hot and sexy in the eyes of your guy friends and they usually tell you "Hey, you really got that hot chick beside you!" "You're lucky to have her! She's too hot!", but still she sticks on you. Keep her! Not everyone is blessed to have that kind of woman. Really.

20. She means the world to you.

You can't really imagine life without her. That's basically it.

All of us wanted to be with the person we really love and willing to spend much of our time with them. However, there are really times where everything seems to fail. But, you don't want losing her to be part of the list.

You can just fail or be defeated in battles of life but never that battle of losing her. If you already felt this, probably you have finally met that "Dream girl" or "The One."

She means the whole world to you.

Fed Up With Overtime? Try These!

We know that overtime work is often not within our control, but sometimes it can be. Just try your best to make your overtime workload a minimum. 

Employees are often tasked to do a lot of work which leads to stressful and long hours. Yet, they are doing it for the sake of higher payments. Thanks to the high product demands of most companies, employees have better chances to be paid on an overtime-basis and get higher payments all together.

Employees around the globe think that working beyond 40 hours per week will make them more productive and help them finish more work. In general, working beyond 40 hours per week is simply unproductive.

However, CATO Institute, an American public research organization, revealed that overtime hours are highly more taxable than those regular working hours in a week. According to this research, the higher the number of hours worked by an employee, the higher the tax bracket an employee belongs to. This is another burden for both employees and employers.

On the other hand, having overtime will be a burden to the employee, too. It makes the weekends much stressful and not relaxing. Therefore, any hired individuals should avoid working overtime. Therefore, work in a regular number of hours. Here are some ways to avoid overtime:

1. Be early to work.

There's a famous saying, "An early bird catches the worm." If an employee goes to work as early as he can, thus, he can also finish a lot of stuff early, too. As simple as that. In most cases, employees goes to offices tardy, that's why, they usually make their 8-hour work longer since they have to finish stuff needed to be done in a day.

2. Be organized.

What wise employees do to save time amid tons of work to finish in a day, they usually have a to-do-list. This is really important to organize the job to do without procrastinating everything and at the same time, one can meet deadlines in a very hectice schedule though there are still lots of them are left unfinished.

3. Make a priority list.

Aside from making a to-do-list, make sure to make a list of things needed to be finished earlier than the others assigned. In this way, it will make work more systematic, fast, and punctual to the deadlines of each work.

4. Be wise in spending your breaks.

Having a break time does not mean doing unnecessary chats and dilly-dallies with office mates. This is good to be nice to colleagues but make sure it doesn't consume much of your vacant time. Make your vacant time more productive since this is the perfect time to freshen up and to relax a bit after hours of stressful work.

5. Weigh your meetings to attend.

By having an invitation to the meeting, does not mean that every time, an employee should always say "YES". Weigh the agenda and the importance of the meeting over the assigned work to be finished in a certain deadline. Not unless if the meeting is related to the work assigned. That would be okay and substantial.

6. Learn to say "NO".

This is a wise act by an employee. No need to be a superhero who can do every thing assigned. No one can do that especially if the deadlines are really hectic. By saying yes all the time, it will make your work more chaotic and unorganized. Before saying yes to a certain assignment, make sure to check your to-do-list and your priorities set in that day or in that week (stated in number 2 and 3). If the new task is already unmanageable, just say no to it and let others do the work.

7. No "Facebook-ing" at work.

This is a big no, no. Doing Facebook-ing, Twitter-ing, and so on really make big procrastination to the work and at the same time in the work place through wasting much of the time doing useless things and reading unnecessary posts from friends instead of reviewing the work or doing the assignment to meet the deadline.

8. Make your worktable clean.

If your worktable is clean, it will also clear up your mind midst very hectic work schedules and tons of work to be done.

9. Go home on time.

If your work ends in 5 o'clock in the afternoon, then go home in that hour.. No need to waste time extending more minutes or some hours after the regular working hours. Well, you're trying to avoid overtime, why doing so?

10. Don’t do other stuff besides work.

If the goal is to finish work in a certain time, make sure to have it in mind to achieve that goal. Therefore, don’t do other unrelated stuff to the task. For example, if the assigned responsibility is related to the communications of the company, just focus on responding emails, answering calls, and other tasks related should be accomplished.

Working more hours in a given time make any workers sound more hard working, determined, and interested in the job. But this is a wrong view of achieving 100% success in work. 

In order to achieve the set goals (that each company reminds their employees), make sure to do smart working instead. 

To do this, each employee should be focused on the given job and not doing tasks apart from the assigned. It’s good to be helpful but not all times. They are hired to do the job, therefore, they should be acquainted that they are employed to attain the aim. This, too, applies to you as an employee. By doing these, for sure, you can avoid working overtime.

Friday, January 16, 2015

12 Best Stripteasing Songs Ever

One of the most challenging in relationships is how to keep it alive. Relationships in the first few months can be cool and inspiring since the couples are just knowing each other well. However, as it goes on and on for several months, years, the adrenaline that couples experience in their relationship can grow less. Thus, in order to boost its innermost power, sometimes, one must do some "spice-ups". The most common thing is to do STRIPTEASING.

Stripteasing is one of the most creative activity that couples do to boost their relationship. As per experience, it may be tiring and sounds like a body workout (if the rough stripteasing is done), but the effect is really guaranteed. To achieve the goal of stripteasing, one must be open to this kind of sexual creativity.

Before knowing the songs, here are some quick tips to create an erotic-sensual atmosphere:
1. Have some dim lights.
2. Prepare your stripteasing clothes. Make sure this will not create "epic fails" later on.
3. Stripteasing is really way cooler if it's a surprise. So, it's best if your partner doesn't have any idea when or where you're going to do it.
4. Choose cool music. Make sure you're able to dance it well and you're body movements suit the music you chose. For slow music, make sure you're a bit flexible and fit to do the erotic movements. For beginners, you can do it with a bit of rock music. 
5. Make way for erotic facial expressions. This makes the stripteasing enjoyable and pleasurable.

So, here are the top 10 best stripteasing songs ever:

1. Eyes without a face by Billy Idol



2. After Dark by Tito & Tarantula 



3. You can leave your hat on by Joe Cocker



4. Sex (I'm a) by Lovage 



5. Closer by Nine Inch Tails



6. Cherry Pie by Warrant 



7. American Woman by Lenny Kravitz



8. Ride a White Horse by Goldfrapp


9. Pornstars are Dancing by My Darkest Days


10. Man in the box by Alice in Chains



11. Supermassive black hole by Muse 


12. Tainted Love by Marilyn Mason


One more tip. It's really important in stripteasing where you should show off some CONFIDENCE and that you should let him see that you really are ENJOYING every move you make!

Hope you'll have great time with these songs!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

TUDLO Program (TG Program-Whole program ORIGINAL description)

TUDLO PROGRAM
Based from the ORIGINAL document SY 2011-2012

BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF THE PROGRAM

These programs are set to provide service to the community where Atenean education is all about - being compassionate enough to care about the surroundings. Thus, TUDLO sa DV and Adopt-a-School Projects are proposed to make a movement about this vision.

In this way, too, the School of Education community will benefit from this system where the unified Educators will set forth to its mission - to educate. The student-volunteers will benefit in terms of imparting what they have learned in their schooling; the faculty, staff and the administration on the other hand can benefit through their support to these big projects to its pursuance.

Aside from those given benefactors, the college council and its co-curricular organizations too can benefit through aligning some of their projects to the objectives of the program. Activities to be conducted will be negotiated between the college council and the co-curricular organizations.

THE RATIONALE

Teachers' Guild's objective for this year's mechanism is marked through DIMI (Development, Inclusion, Mobility, and Innovation). Thus, this creates a system where projects proposed must be in line with this idea.

Development 
Projects that will be implemented must aid students upon learning more as the year level progresses. TG will assist them in their needs.

Inclusion
Projects must create unity as manifested in general assembly, gathering. It also invites the students to participate and to involve their selves, not merely exclusive to one specific, selected group only.

Mobility
Projects must be well-disseminated. Initiatives upon relaying information i.e. online, room-to-room, or text brigade are done to ensure the awareness of SOE Community to the activities.

Innovation
Projects must be creative, not necessary adapted from the traditional activities in the college. This is to invite students to student engagement and create enthusiasm and motivation among the SOE community.

These pillars as dictated if wrapped as a whole constitutes the TUDLO Program. This program comprises series of activities where it is focused on the DIMI concept. It stands for Teachers United for Development and Learning Opportunities. The entirety of the whole school year is seen in this program. Among of the projects formulated is the Adopt-a-school Program and TUDLO sa DV. The project itself defines the TUDLO.

Adopt-a-school Program entails for the development and improvement of the level of Education in the community. It also provides opportunities for the unfortunate to go to remedial classes if there are lessons covered that are not yet clear through the knowledgeable student volunteers. At the same time, Education student volunteers will apply and will integrate what they have learned from the classroom especially the theories, laws, principles, and the like.

OBJECTIVES
At the end of these projects,

Students

  • The students could benefit from the community through their utmost service given their prior knowledge, time, commitment, and Magis towards reaching out to the unfortunate kids who hardly get into school.
  • The students could clearly understand the importance of their subjects as manifested to their remedial classes to be given to the pupils alike.
SOURCE OF FUNDS
Teachers' Guild will initiate activities for fund-raising to support this project. Hereunder are the activities that will be implemented for the whole school year:

  1. Trash to Cash Campaign. This is an activity where students are invited to participate through giving empty mineral bottles and newspapers to the designated TG outlets.
  2. Volunteers' Shirt. The volunteers for the project are encouraged to wear their respective shirt for identity purpose. Thus, they are required to wear the shirts before they could proceed the respective area. Proceeds will immediately go to the project. 
  3. Solicitations.
  4. Selling of the bottles. This is scheduled every first Saturday of the month.
  5. TGindahan. Teachers' Guild will be having its store running throughout the year. Varied items will be sold to the public with 50% of the sales as support of these projects. 
BENEFITS OF THE PROJECTS
Student: Scholars and Non-Scholars
  • The students will be able to get advantages to apply what s/he has learned from his/her Education subjects as well as their subjects from their respective areas of specialization especially in terms of: 
  1. Community Awareness
  2. Real-life integration
  3. Assessment, Evaluation, etc. 

Created by:

(signed)
Mecyll T. Jamila
TG President
2011-2012
Xavier University-Ateneo de Cagayan

Sunday, January 11, 2015

How Broken Promises Troubles Relationships


"Promises can be broken." I guess anyone can say that. It's a common saying. Well, nowadays.
I wonder why people can do that to others well in fact, when you give a certain promise even to simple things can make troubles or conflicts if not made possible.

Merriam-Webster Dictionaries helped me define what a promise is. According to them, it is a statement telling that you will DEFINITELY do something or that something will DEFINITELY happen in the future. It also a REASON to EXPECT that something will happen in the future.

Thus, making promises is not just giving off something you intend to make for the other person but also it involves A TOTAL COMMITMENT TO IT.

But, what if the other person fails to make it?
This is where DEFINITELY trouble comes in, especially to couples.

1. Broken promises always top the reason for broken relationships.

Basically, this is because the other person tends to expect a lot if the partner is making any promises which aren't made possible. On the other hand, if the simple promise failed to satisfy the other may lead to distrust to the partner, which later on, can cause break ups.

2. Broken promises creates big negative impact to the partner.

As grievous as it sounds, but this can severely affects the partner especially if they're already married. How? Broken promises is based on trust. But, if the partner tends to make frequent unrealistic promises, it can basically lead to lack of trust which is unhealthy for the relationships.

3. Broken promises adds big negative stress to the couples.

It directly links to the previous point where broken promises can create big negative impacts to the partner. In this note, it also adds negative stress to the couples, too. They're directly proportional to the other.

4. Broken promises disappoints couples.

Of course, when you're making promises to your partner, of course, your partner tends to expect a lot from that promise though it's just some small acts like a vacation, doing the laundry by the next day, etc. Something like these small acts, if undone, can cause conflicts immediately. Small acts like that are also considered your small promises, which you are definitely expected to do.

5. Broken promises leads to break ups and/or divorce.

Try to review the previous points. Definitely, if your act of breaking of promises is such a casual habit, don't be surprised if your partner will eventually withdraw from the relationship.

According to Knoji.com, broken relationships and most especially broken marriage is basically established with just a simple stupid act of breaking small promises. Because of these broken small promises, it usually creates conflicts between couples. If left unsolved, the partner usually withdraws from their relationship. Therefore, it ends with a sad love story. It may sound so stupid and so small to be reactive. But if done frequently, and consecutively, it naturally makes the other partner feel unworthy. Why?

Just come to think of it, if your boyfriend says,"Hey, I will take you to dinner date in your birthday." Of course, you are expecting it. So, you prepared for it. You bought the nicest dress, etc. to make yourself look good. But then, when that day came, your boyfriend suddenly says, "Oh, I've got to make something. Sorry. I can't make it."

Another instance, if your wife says, "Honey, don't buy a pair of shoes now, I'll buy you one when my salary is released." So, you didn't bought a new pair of shoes since your wife promised to buy you one. However, when the salary day came, you're now asking for her promise. "Hey, where's the new pair of shoes you promised, honey?" Oh, your wife forgot. Well, it's okay for forget if she says, "Oh, I forgot. Okay, let's go and buy." But, if your wife says, "Sorry, hon, but I can't buy you a new one 'cause I bought some new clothes."

How would you feel about it? Do you feel good? Try thinking that he will do it several times. How would you feel?

That's basically how broken promises troubles relationships. So, be careful what you promise if you wish to have a long-term romantic bond, relationship, marriage with your partner, your husband/wife.