Amid this much competitive world, everyone is required to cope with their every day routines, stresses, requirements, and so on which the usual corporate demands. As an outcome, the most noticed is by having the attitude of competition is now a norm. As being competitive is now being taught to young kids.
I was a kid, ten years ago. I graduated in grade school with flying colors. How? Because my mom forced me to. Personally, I don't know much why I should do, but in order to please them, I should do what they wish me to do.
So, I did. I competed, I forced myself to gauge my entire childhood to my studies. Proof? Limited time to play with my friends, to stay and to talk with them, sharing funny thoughts and even to enjoy the laughing part with them.
My mom always told me, "These friends of yours will not be with you when you go down. So, don't waste your time being with them."
I can't forget that.
Why could I? If I can clearly recall how I exactly felt when my friends are enjoying their games, laughing out loud out of total joy, while I was kept in "dungeon" locked inside the house. All I could do is to see them happy through my locked doors and closed windows.
I cried. Yes, out of pain. An excruciating pain I couldn't even forget until now.
Afterwards, with all these sacrifices, I did graduate with honors, medals, and stood up in front of my classmates, friends, parents, school administrators, as well as my teachers while giving my first speech during my graduation day. It was memorable. At least.
I thought it would stop. But as far as I could remember, my mom told me, "You should be the valedictorian in grade school," which I sadly didn't make it happen. I even hesitated to tell her that I really can't make it since my classmates were really that good.
So, I tried to make it possible during my high school. I did my best. All perfect scores. Earned lots of medals, certificates of honors, fame, power, and above all my name was totally established in the school.
I did the same thing as I did in grade school. But this time, I was the class valedictorian. Finally, I was able to make it. But, I asked myself this time -- once again -- Why?
When I got to college and graduated with no Latin honors as I expected. With just 0.18 lack from my general average, I wasn't able to reach the required from the university, I felt totally sad.
Being an achiever, to have nothing at this very moment, is something terrible, and what's worse, I felt I like to jump in a 10-storey building.
What is really sad about how I feel, which is until now, I still do feel it, is I can't get rid of my competitive nature. This has been sickening me, too, for a while.
In everything I do, to anyone I work with, to someone I relate to, to everyone, I feel all time the same competition installed in my system. In order to cope with this negative feeling, I tried to figure out how could I overcome this innate nature.
As I searched, I figured out that I need to do these 5 easy-to-remember steps in my everyday routine - which I could share to every reader:
1. Make it a drive to motivate yourself.
Since this is already innate, you can't stop it. But when you say you wanted to stop it, it doesn't mean that you can't control it. You can! It's just a matter of choice to stay motivated through your competitive nature or not.
2. Make other people your inspiration, not a tool for comparison.
Everyone's unique. This is an overused adage to describe humanity. Yet, sometimes, it's hard to absorb especially for those who are living life with a rush race. But, instead of making others your destruction, make them your inspiration.
For example, your co-worker has a promotion. Instead of grumbling, and getting depressed why you weren't chosen, try to identify why she has the promotion, and make it a drive to improve or to change strategy to get what she got.
3. Make yourself proud, in a good and gentle way.
How is this possible? By simply re-think your accomplishment done in your lifetime and then asked yourself then, how did I manage to make them? Do others achieve the same as I do? For sure, achievers achieve a lot of stuff in their lifetime.
4. Make some boosts to your hidden confidence, and show them off!
At times, the culprit behind the negative competitive nature is their hidden insecurity. This negative feeling usually resulted to negative competition. As a competitive woman myself, I can confidently say that I needed to boost my confidence to overcome this not-so-good competition [I felt].
5. Make your miserable life worse from negative competition.
Yes, you can dig your own grave yard. This is what other people could say to me. Because of being so negative when it comes to other people's achievements, such as promotions, etc. I usually feel down and stressed. The outcome? My editor noticed my mediocre outputs, etc. Simple as that.
The point here is, in order for a person to cope with his competitive nature is to change the way she thinks before stepping to another level of emotions which would create problems later on. These problems include pessimism, insecurities, negative competition, and etc.
Take these simple notes from a competitive woman like me, and let's see if these are good pieces of advice are good enough.
Feel free to give comments below. I appreciate them a lot! Thanks!
