Things to know more about patience

It has been several months since I was starting to be more conscious about being more patient in everything I do. From washing plates, to cleaning the house, to finding a job, to everything anyone can imagine. In my daily routine, it has been the most abstract among the thousands that I should be learning repetitively. I am aware of God's existence everywhere. And I know that He is really present in ever places I could think of. He is there just listening, watching me as I do even the negative things I do whenever I am alone. But, He is indeed playful. He wanted me to learn things differently, in a creative way, I should say. However, it was quite a challenge.

Just today, when I opened Facebook, it was quite a surprise that the first notification that I receive from my friends are telling about how a man describes his feelings towards his girlfriend. Actually, they are both my friends, schoolmates in college. I saw this post on my wall.

From the moment I saw his post in my wall, I was amused with the thought that guys are indeed sentimental in nature. Thus, it tells me that although my boyfriend is not a showy type of lover, but he loves that deeply to me.

Second thing was the next notification. It was about devotion. I clicked it and tried to sneak out and see what was posted. Then, it really made me surprise to see this.

I am not alone. Our own fears and insecurities can make us feel that we are beyond help, beyond hope. Relevant may it seems to what is on-going to my life now. But definitely, this made my day. For real. This little things that I have seen are all considered "little miracles". They may be little to hear but they created a big spark in my life today. These little miracles are making my "How-to-be-Patient Lessons" are having its big outcomes.

Even yesterday, a lot was done. A lot of happy things all happened yesterday at once. It was totally superb! So, from the moment I opened myself to learn more about patience. Indeed, it was worthy. Yet, I have to learn more of them step-by-step the hardest way. I don't know why God put me to such tests, but I guess He's really being playful quite a bit. Of all these things that happened to me now, all I can do is just to laugh and to smile to a lot of challenges that happened to me this time. However, I can summarize them this way.

1. Patience requires waiting. So much waiting. 
Since waiting is really Patience's best buddy, if you wish to learn more about being patient, you also need to wait longer, longer, longer until what you have been asking, praying for will be noticed, or guaranteed. Once you ask something or working for something, just accept that it doesn't happen overnight or just a single snap. No.

2. Patience is also about observing "little miracles" around you. 
While waiting for such thing you really wanted to achieve in your life, instead of being stupid and murmur and act like a kid, doing tantrums. So better act like a man/woman, a mature one. How will it be done then? Well, instead of using emotions to go around with your decisions to make your everyday life/routine, better use your God-given wisdom to let you see how beautiful life is through observing "little miracles". They are just so little to be observed and are often neglected.

I have been saying and repeating "Little miracles" all throughout this blog, but what I mean with this is that all things that are happening to you in every minute that seem so natural, boring, so little, etc.

Let's take this scenario as an example: 
"You're tasked to make a lot of work from your boss. So, you're pissed since you can't go out with your friends on a Friday night. You have a lot of work to do. So, instead of being with them and enjoy partying, you went back to your flat and continued with your work. While going back to your home, you went to a store and food shopped.  After having all what you need, you went to cashier and paid. The cashier just said, "Sir, since your items reached around P1,000, you earned a discount of P50 of the entire payment. So, you paid just P950.00 instead of P1,000."

Yeah, it sounds so little to observe and to notice. But this is how I have observed about little miracles that are going around me for several days.

3. Lastly, patience is about timing. It's God's timing. 
Everything has been sucked up and you really felt bad about them. But, indeed, God has been putting all these things in place. As the common Biblical verse saying, "There's always time for everything." You cannot control everything. But you can though, but not all. Not everything. It's just one proof that you have let Him do the rest.

I know I can conclude things written here as of now because all these things are still on an on-going process. So, I just have to pause and think for awhile and reflect that there are still things to know more about patience. 

Appreciation: Wie kann man es fühlen?

As defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionaries, appreciation is a noun which means a feeling of being grateful for something or even an ability to understand the worth, quality, or importance of something.

Thus saying, appreciation is an abstract something which any human needs to be driven enough to achieve things he wanted to achieve in his life. In everything, he does, especially that something that requires much an effort, anyone should be able to acknowledge it and do appreciate everything he has done to keep him moving with much of an inspiration through ups and downs. That no matter what outcomes will be at the end of his endeavors, although he is frustrated or disappointed, but he will never lose that spark in his eyes and the level of inspiration to move forward.

Hence, appreciation is really important to anyone. No matter how big or small his efforts done. They should be appreciated. Because in this big things or small things, they are made possible with effort.

But how can't I feel it in a home where I supposed to feel home?

Ever since, I haven't have much appreciation received from anyone. No matter how much efforts done to make everything they have observed possible, I always do feel unappreciated. I grew up in a home where less appreciation is observed. That's why, I'm so thirsty for it from other people since I know that I can't get it from home. As a result, a lot of stiff and stricken behaviors are observed by lot especially my boyfriend.

Insensitivity towards other people's efforts
Since I grew up not to care other people's efforts because I don't observe it at home, I usually have powerful mouth. Tactless mouth, I should say. I don't care if the words I am saying are okay or not. Lesser sensitivity. How insensitivity and appreciation connect? If you grow up in a home where it's strict, firm, full of disciplines and rules implemented to be a "perfect child", especially if you don't observe that it's good to acknowledge the other people especially with their efforts done to make things possible in the house, it has also greater chances that you grow insensitive. Since appreciation is again, needing emotions and sensitivity to make it.

Giving pressure vs appreciation
In my case, I did grew up in a family where I'm pressured to be on top of everything or even the best that anyone could ever meet and imagine. But, unfortunately, I didn't make it until college. Since I just graduated as is, without honors, medals, etc. Only the widely renowned "Diploma". Plus, I don't observe acknowledgements in the house like even just cleaning the house, sweeping the floors, etc. I don't receive any recognition to it. As a result, I do everything to be praised in the school or to wherever I need to be appreciated by them. Emancipation of appreciation is what is the most I really like. Like in every little things I do, I am hoping to be appreciated by anyone. May it be doing the laundry, sweeping the floor, etc. In these things I do for the family, I don't receive recognition from them. Instead, insults and narrating one by one my faults, lacks, all the negative criticisms, everything negative are being said. That's why, I am wondering how it feels like to be appreciated.

How it feels to be appreciated? 
So, that's why when my boyfriend does that to me, no matter how simple or small endeavor I did, he does appreciate and even saying he's proud of me to these things. It felt good. So much. I wonder if my family does that to me, too.

I just remembered they were telling me that the culture of the house changed when I was not with them. I was in Makati then. So for two months, everything changed. Why? They just told me these things.

No one will cook for them especially dinner. 
No one will clean the house and make it orderly at all times. 
No one will look for the house during the day. Thus, worried about theft. 
No one will do laundry and wash them everyday. 
No one will make noise in the house. 
No one will make cuddles to them. 
More. 

But, I never received any compliment from these things from them. So sad, but it is. That's why I told myself, when I have my own family, appreciation should be a duty to everyone so they will also learn sensitivity towards other people.

So...
Appreciation, wie kann man es fühlen? Nur eine wichtig Frage für Euch.

Too much pride, ego, and sensitivity: Time to let go

Since I was a kid, I have been trained to be the greatest among others. From the way I speak, I act, I do things, everything. I should be the best. I should be the topnotch in class, the best, the highest scorer, etc. That's the truth that I have grew up with. Neither did I know that there are so much values that I less considered and less valued which are rather more important than the truths that I knew.

But, what is the most intriguing part is that why I have to learn these things the hardest way?
Is it naturally like that? 
I even asked my self, why do I have to experience the extremes of life? 
I mean, why do I have to allow myself immersed to the idea that I am already set to undergo so much pain and sufferings in life? 
Do I have really the chances to have a good life and a comfortable and a satisfying life? 
After all, God has given me so much blessings like intelligence, wisdom, dignity, integrity, etc. that any person does have. 

But the greatest question there is
WHY?
WHY THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING TO ME AND TO MY LIFE?

According to nosuffering.com, pain is inevitable. Therefore, pain is everywhere. We cannot avoid it no matter what we do. It's there. It's given. Thus, all we have to do is how to deal with it.

Pain is a concrete evidence that one is alive. Since it is inevitable as defined, thus, it means that as humans, to be able to conquer it, we should be able to adjust to it and to accept the emotions along with it. It's painful, disappointing, etc. Yes, it is. But, we cannot fully overpass it if we continue living with it and be depressed with it. But, rather, it's the best thing if we use pain to motivate change. Pain is one of the most terrifying teachers to seek change in our lives but definitely, it is the most worthy. Why?

1. We can achieve joy, happiness and fulfillment in life.
As my boyfriend had told me last night as per discussion with the current struggles we are facing right now with our respective problems, he reminded me that it's better to experience difficulties in life rather than having life where we can get something we cant so easily or even pressuring our parents just to get what we want. We never know in the future, we will have the family bankruptcy and sickening economic depression of the family's finances, these people cannot just easily overcome these kinds of challenges compared to those people who are able to experience these beforehand.

2. We can experience peace towards everything, almost everything. 
Since we have already had struggled lives before, achieving success is the most determined goal. Thus, when we are able to achieve it, it's the most exciting and the most interesting part of our lives then. We could feel the comfort and the peace of everything we do both happy times and bad times since we are already trained to deal with the most unwanted roads of life such as distress, sufferings, troubles, etc.

3. We can experience God's powers and mightiness in these times.
We cannot find God if we are not able to see how painful life is without Him. I can say I am not a religious woman but I can say I have my faith with Him. Although I am still shaky with my faith, but having a single percent of it makes a difference. At least, I am being honest with Him rather than facing Him as if I have no flaws and glitches done in my life. During my downfall, aside from my boyfriend who has been my constant companion since then, He is also there to listen and to scream with although I can't see Him. But He is there, listening to me. All time. With that, I can say, one cannot seek Him and see Him if one cannot be in the most distressful events of his life.

4. We can be grateful that we are still alive. 
Pain is again an inevitable emotion and abstract feeling opposite to peace and happiness. But, pain is just a reminder that we are living and continuing the life's obstacles today, and in the future.

In my case, because of these experiences that I am facing today, I realized that it's time for me to learn how to be humble and to decrease the pride, and ego, and too much considerate with what other people are thinking about me. Because as the common adage says, "Too much is bad for anyone who does it." 

References:
http://www.nosuffering.com/nosuffering/explain.shtml
http://www.everystudent.com/journeys/why.html

I want to spend the rest of my life with you

No other woman could ever not dream of such a wonderful and a romantic phrase, "My love, I want to spend the rest of my life with you". Isn't it sweet, right? Yes, it is. Why? I have my reasons.

First, women are naturally emotionally-sensitive individuals. We are structured to master emotional stability. Thus, we are using emotions most of the time in decision-making. But, just most of the time, not really all the time. It's different.

Second, women are naturally seeking for a one-woman-man. A man who would really willing to spend their lives with them no matter the condition is. Both happy times and sad times, both young-looking and already bad-looking due to old age or what.

Third, women, as naturally-born homemakers, are structured to be the leaders at home. As such, we are already acquainted with the household chores and how to perfectly do them as required by society. With that, most of us are busy making the house clean and orderly, peaceful and not chaotic, at all.

Fourth, women are naturally destined to a man who will love them for they are. No matter what insecurities we have since we are already pre-judged by the way we look, there will be always that man who would look at us differently from the rest of the group.

For me, these things which I consider unexpected just came along to my life. And I thank God for having met him in such places where I didn't consider interesting at all.

With that, I wish to tell him that, "Schatz, I want to spend my entire life with you." Why?

First, I admire you.
You have the attitude which I really find attractive and inspiring. I can't define everything you have but I can specify some traits you have which I really find admirable. You are the man of patience and of positivism. Amidst the negative and troublesome circumstances, you are still able to move forward though in some minutes you are down. But, with just a matter of short time, you are able to move and make steps to face reality unlike me.

Second, I need you. 
You have the energy and the love and care that I mostly need to fight over circumstances and to overcome my weaknesses. I am a strong woman, but still I have weaknesses which you are able to witness yourself. You have the complete of reasons to leave, but you still stayed and still been patient with me and my negative attitudes.

Third, I love you. 
You are the man which my heart and soul love. You are the right man for me and you are the man I consider a gift from the heavens above. Your name has been marked deep in my heart and cannot be erased. You have loved me so deep and so eternal and so sincere. You are the perfect picture of love and care which I really admire, need, and love.

With these things, I am proud to say that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I admire you, I need you, and I love you. :-*